From One Year of Marriage

Today is my one-year anniversary of marriage to my Tim.

We met, as you may know, online.

Our first date was at a friend's party. I met up with him at the local Kroger market as a neutral spot to get a feel for him. Then we went to my friend's house. After a few minutes of newness I sat next to him on the couch and we started talking. Before long, his arm was around me and I didn't mind. You must understand about me that I am not comfortable with much spontaneous physical affection. I am better at it than I was, but I am still awkward with most touch coming from any other than the very closest of friends. I don't come from huggers--my family just isn’t all that effusive with physical affection. So when he put his arm around me and I felt ok, even comfortable, that was something amazing. The night wore on. Eventually we kissed, even though it was accidental, on my part. Not on his--he wanted to kiss me, a lot. He was hoping for the opportunity. Not saying that I didn't want to kiss him, but I hadn't even processed that step as a possibility yet. From there we were inseparable, and I couldn't imagine being apart from him now, even after a year of living in the same house, sharing a sink and a shower, and a refrigerator, among other things.

Even your oddest deficits may be made up in a worthwhile relationship. If you know yourself, you can even predict what kind of person you will be attracted to. Tim allows me and invites me to touch him whenever I want--that's something I have valued my whole life. To be allowed and invited to snuggle, hug, caress, scratch an itch, massage a knotted muscle--that is heaven to me. We need our time alone, away from even each other, for sure, but he doesn't ever turn away a hug, kiss, or touch. I am always welcome to reach for him, even if it is just for a moment.

I never knew, when I was single and searching for love, how much that meant to me. I knew I wanted someone to touch me--but I was wrong. I wanted someone to touch me, but what I really needed was to be allowed to touch someone back, and to have that touch welcomed--not rejected. That meets a very, very old need of mine.

I am so grateful to have met my match in someone as sensitive and caring as Tim. Happy 1 year to us, the sickening ones attached at the hip and loving every minute.